Does Growth Require Grief?

Saying goodbye to the toughest year I've lived through.

As we jump into the year of the fire horse, I have to take a moment to appreciate the past year, despite it being one of the toughest years I’ve lived.

The Year of the Snake

I recently read that the year of the snake (last year), was all about endings, closure, grief, shedding relationships and old versions of yourself so that we can step into this next version of our lives, and WOW, was our year proof of all of those things.

While there was a lot of loss and sadness, there was also a deep sense of closure and finality—to things, relationships and cycles that no longer were serving me or felt good in my life.

A friendship that had been on the rocks for quite some time finally ended. While there was some sadness, there was mostly relief. Relief that I no longer was tied to someone else’s baggage. It was probably the most freeing thing that happened in 2025. I even remember thinking, after this, everything is looking up!

Then my grandmother passed away. A month later, my grandfather passed. And in between those losses, another family member—not directly related to me, but close to someone in my family—passed very unexpectedly.

A few weeks later, the Mystic flood happened in Texas. I spent four incredible summers at Mystic, so this really hit home. The town where I grew up had so many families directly impacted and that amount of tragic loss hit me like a freight train.

Shortly after that, I had my first panic attack. Not fun.

For so many weeks (maybe months?), I was in such a funk. It felt like as soon as I was getting over one tragedy, another one would arrive.

And recently, after a really difficult two weeks with our 13.5-year old dog, Oliver (some of you might remember him as the fox from my old blog, The Fox & She) passed away rather quickly. We’re so grateful we had so many wonderful years with him and that he was healthy and happy up until the very end. But wow, we miss him so much. The house is just so quiet without him.

Needless to say, grief (and eventually healing) was a defining theme in the year of the snake, and one I’m ready to leave behind.

The Year of the Fire Horse

If you’re on social media, you likely saw a ton of content about the year of the fire horse and it feels like, collectively, people are excited about the potential this year, myself included.

Descriptions of the the year of the fire horse include: rapid manifestation, bold movement, forward momentum and new beginnings. YES, PLEASE!

For whatever reason, in late December I got the itch to start writing and creating content again after a very long hiatus. Even when I had been creating before, there wasn’t much rhyme or reason to it. Then I had the wild and audacious thought that, “I’m going to hit 100K on Instagram this year” when I was sitting at about 3,650 subscribers at the start of January.

While that feels like a HUGE goal, it suddenly doesn’t feel impossible.

To be honest, I don’t know what this year will bring. But I do have big dreams and ideas that allow for more freedom and creativity than I’ve felt in years.

I’ve got a list of topics I want to write about here. Things I might have been nervous to share in the past but now feel fun and thrilling! The urge to pick up my paint brushes is starting to come back after a 3 month break. I guess creativity, like so many things, comes in cycles. I’ve found that when I let myself relax into those cycles instead of forcing them, it all works out just fine.

Grief and Growth

This begs the question, does growth require grief, or is growth simply a by product of experiencing grief and doing the work to heal?

While we lived through a lot of hard things (and cried a LOT), I also felt a different version of myself trying to break free. I’m infinitely better at setting boundaries, saying no, speaking my mind, and truly just getting more comfortable with who I am instead of constantly worrying about making other people feel comfortable.

After this year of loss and shedding, I truly feel like we’re stepping into a new era of our lives. There are new beginnings and positive momentum regarding so many things areas of life right now, and it gives me a sense of comfort knowing that the grief and the hardship was simply preparing us for this next level.

So, after a sh*t year, I’m VERY much looking forward to what’s ahead, because for the first time in a long time, it feels hopeful and joyful.

How was your year of the snake? How has the start of the fire horse year felt for you?